At least let us wither together
Fall to the ground in unison
In one heap of dust
And just a handful of memories.
Today, among a group of people, I stared at the walls merge with the darkness till nothing remained but empty, haunting space.
But after a few minutes, the lanterns were released in the sky and they conquered the chimneys and floated in the sky, telling me that light exists around us; it exists in our strength; it exists in the strength of others.
It only needs to be released.
In the past, loneliness for me came with its own charm. Today, something is making me think differently. Does loneliness always come with someone’s absence? Does it always come with self questioning?
One questions why one cannot hold on; one questions what leads one so astray. On the face of it, loneliness is alluring - it is a state where one is truest to oneself. But I wonder about tomorrow when some friends will meet, but I will not. I wonder about tonight where nothing seems whiter, blanker, than the walls that surround me. Nothing seems fuller than my own mind.
Yet, everything is so empty.
Notebooks and notebooks full of loneliness; beds and bedsheets full of loneliness.